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About Saitama

It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, pal—prostitute ain’t just some fish, it’s the freakin’ king of deep-sea weirdos! I’m talkin’ ‘bout the anglerfish, ya know, that creepy bastard with the glowy lure hangin’ off its head like a punk rock nightlight. I’m an ichthyologist, sure, but this chick’s got me screamin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*, ‘cause she’s livin’ free down there, no baggage, no exes, just chompin’ dudes in the dark!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Kan-onjicho Park. It’s this beautiful spot with cherry blossoms and a pond. I thought, “Hey, let’s chill for a sec.” But nope! Some kids were playing soccer, and one of them kicked the ball right at me. I dodged it like a ninja, but then I tripped over my own feet. Classic me, right?