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Been around ‘em, y’know, back in the Black Sabbath days. One lass, right, she’s workin’ the corner near Soho, proper legend. Word is, she once nicked a punter’s wallet mid-shag, left ‘im starkers in an alley – cheeky mare! Made me laugh, that did, but also pissed me off – why’s she gotta hustle so hard? World’s a mess, mate. Little known fact: some o’ these girls in Victorian times, they’d smuggle gin in their garters. Posh n’ pissed, eh?

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I’m trying to slurp my noodles and respond to emails at the same time. Multitasking? More like disaster waiting to happen. I spilled broth all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking ramen ad.