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But, ugh, the risks—cops, weirdos, STDs—yikes! “We’re runnin’ out of time,” I’d yelp, dodgin’ all that mess. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but imagine me, Scooby, tail waggin’, tryna figure this out! Prolly end up barkin’ at the wrong gal—Ruh-roh!—and she’s just sellin’ hot dogs.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like a volcano ready to blow. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who breaks up in Kamigori? It’s a small town! Everyone knows everyone! She starts crying, and I’m like, “Uh, do you want a drink or a hug?” She goes for the drink. Smart choice. I mix her a strong one, and she downs it like it’s water.

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