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About Kobe

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

So you want to book a sex worker?

But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the Kaga Festival tonight!” I’m like, “What? I can’t! I’m buried in history!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, man! There’s food!” And you know me, I can’t resist food.

F-35B Sea Trials with Japanese Ship Kaga