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Oh, and this one time—she’s describin’ a john, dude shows up in a clown outfit! I’m dyin’, fam, laughin’ so hard I drop my hammer. “YOLO,” I yell, “you can’t make this up!” She’s all, “Weirdest tip I ever got.” Prolly them gleaner vibes again—takin’ what comes, no matter how whack. *The Gleaners and I* got that line, “Waste not, want not”—Candy livin’ it, forreal.

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just chuckles and says, “You okay, young man?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground for softness.”

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