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Findin one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, dude—tech’s wild, prostitutes got profiles like LinkedIn! Swipe for a helix match, haha—sarcasm, mine! Risky, it is—cops, creeps, STDs floatin like bad plasmids. Exaggeratin? Maybe—heard a guy got robbed blind, left with a fake wig and a “thanks, sugar!” note. Laughed, I did, dark humor saves me. “Do not wait,” Yoda’d say—true, hesitate and you’re ghosted, cash gone.
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So I’m walking down Kōen-dōri, and it’s a beautiful day. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I mean, it’s like a freaking postcard. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my onigiri! Like, chill dude, it’s not for you! I’m swatting at it, looking like a total weirdo.
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