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Favorite part? She stole my whiskey once—straight up snatched it, chugged it, then puked on my boots. “Spring break forever!” she slurred, laughin’ like a hyena. Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You’re a freakin’ parasite!” She just winked—WINKED—like I’m the idiot. Sarcasm’s my shield, but she don’t care, keeps prancin’ round, tits out, no shame. Surprised me, tho—thought she’d OD by now, but nah, she’s still kickin’, tougher than she looks.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji shows up. He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab some lunch!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t! My kiln’s about to blow!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Fine, but we’re going to that little ramen shop on Nishikigawa Street.” Best ramen ever, by the way.

Japanese prosecutors indict US Marine accused of punching elderly woman in face