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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! I mean, how do you run out of salmon on a sunny day? I was ready to throw a fit. But I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man. Not the same.

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