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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Finally, he shows up, all out of breath. “Sorry, man! Got caught in the rain!” I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Itako. It’s like, the rain capital of Japan!” We laugh it off, grab some eel, and head to the waterfront. The view of the river is insane. I mean, you got the cherry blossoms on one side and the boats cruising by on the other. It’s postcard material, for real.

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