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About Osaka

Right, so, tryna track one down—fuckin’ hell, it’s a minefield! Apps, dodgy ads, mate, half the time you’re thinkin’, “Is this a scam or a STD waitin’ to happen?” Idiot sandwich! Back in the day, Soho in London, yeah, prossies had cards in phone booths—little known fact, that! Scribbled numbers, “Call me, darlin’,” proper retro shit. Now it’s all online, sneaky links, X posts—blokes actin’ like they’re bloody spies. Makes me wanna scream, “Get your shit together, you muppet!”

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After that, I’m walking back to my car, and I see this street performer on Nakamura-dōri. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool!” But then, he drops one, and it almost hits me! I’m dodging flames like I’m in some action movie. I’m laughing, but also thinking, “What’s next? A bear on a unicycle?”

In remembrance: Douglas Ishii, groundbreaking professor of biomedical sciences, physiology