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About Kyoto

Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Get to Matsumoto, and it’s beautiful. The castle is stunning, right? But I’m not here for the sights. I’m here to meet my buddy, Kenji. We’re supposed to hit up this ramen joint. But of course, he’s late. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at my watch, and I’m like, “C’mon, man!”

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