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About Saitama
I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!
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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a café on Shimo-ina Street. It’s cozy, and I order a hot matcha. While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, really? In a café? Get a room, people!
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