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About Osaka

Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Find a prostitute, eh? Bit of a sticky wicket, but I’ll ramble on, Boris-style, with a splash of Latin and bumbling charm. Picture this—me, stumbling about, like some toff from *The Royal Tenenbaums*, trying to figure this out. “Ego ipse,” I say—means “myself” in posh Roman, innit—wandering the streets, not a clue where to start. Reminds me of Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and lost, but with less tennis and more, er, dodgy dealings.

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Next, I hit up the Imaricho-ko Park. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, it was packed. Kids running wild, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one near the pond. Perfect! But then, this group of teenagers rolls up, blasting music like they’re at a concert. Ugh!