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So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. Can you believe it? We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about our crazy days at Iiyama High. Remember that time we snuck into the gym after hours? Good times, good times. But then, he tells me he’s moving to Tokyo. My heart sank. I mean, who’s gonna keep me company during karaoke nights now?

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