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About Saitama

So I’m starin’, right? Neurotic as hell, like, “Pretty, pretty good legs on her!” But also, “What’s her deal? She gonna rob me? Steal my fish?” I’m paranoid, man, I’m Larry freakin’ David out here! She calls out, “Hey, fish guy, got a light?” A LIGHT? Lady, I got fish guts and a bad back, not a Zippo! Made me mad, y’know? Like, who asks a fisherman for a smoke? But then she smiles—bam!—and I’m hooked, reeled in like a dumbass trout. Surprised me, honestly, how quick I melted. “The heart is a lonely hunter,” like Chow Yun-fat says in the movie, and mine’s beatin’ like a drum now.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “Seriously?!” Everyone’s rushing out, and I’m just trying to grab my stuff. I spill my coffee all over the reports. Great. Just great.

Earthquake Hits Northern Japan’s Aomori Prefecture; No Tsunami Expected