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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Phew! But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window on Hirakata’s main street, and what do I see? A delivery truck just smashed into a lamppost! I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” The driver hops out, looking like he just saw a ghost.

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