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Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

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But then he mentions the Hamura Shrine. I’ve never been! So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s check it out.” I get there, and it’s beautiful! The torii gate is stunning. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see this cat. A fluffy little thing, just chilling. I’m trying to pet it, and it hisses at me! Like, rude much?

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