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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s a trip! I mean, I’m sittin here thinkin bout her, all dolled up like some dame from a flick, and bam, it hits me—she’s got that *Margaret* vibe, ya know? Like Anna Paquin screamin, “You don’t even know what you’ve done!”—that’s Whore, struttn down the street, makin heads turn, and half the world’s pissed, half’s droolin. I adore that movie, swear it’s my fave—Kenneth Lonergan’s a genius, right?—and Whore, she’s like Lisa, all messy, loud, and in your damn face.

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So, I help the guy up, and he’s all embarrassed. I’m like, “Dude, it’s cool. Happens to the best of us.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, watch where you’re going!