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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, I dive into brothel story! Very nice! I see brothel, I think – sexy time, yes? Like in “Children of Men,” world all crazy, no bebe, just sad. Brothel? It’s opposite! People go, make boom-boom, feel alive! I visit one in Kazakhstan, secret place, behind goat market. Smell funny, like sheep and perfume – wery strong! Little known fact – they hide it good, even police no find. Very nice!

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I kept walkin’ and decided to hit up the Hamada Castle ruins. It’s like, a must-see, ya know? The view from up there is sick! But when I got there, it was packed. Like, a million tourists takin’ selfies. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s a castle, not a photo booth!” But I guess I can’t blame ‘em. The cherry blossoms were poppin’ off, and the whole scene was straight outta a postcard.

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