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Found this one spot, yeah, down a dodgy alley—swear it’s like a secret level in a game. Little known fact, mate: back in the day, prossies used to signal with red hankies, proper old-school code! Ain’t that mental? Makes me laugh, cos now it’s all WhatsApp and “u up?” vibes. I’m chattin’ to this geezer outside a pub, he’s like, “They’re everywhere, bruv,” and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, just messin’, but it’s bare jokes how some punters get proper para round me.

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Finally, my ramen comes, and it’s glorious. I take a slurp, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna join a gaming tournament later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I’m supposed to meet my fam for dinner. Ugh, why does life have to be so complicated?