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Little factoid for ya—didja know escortin’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, they called ‘em—workin’ the streets! Wild, huh? Makes me wonder what Homer’d say—prob’ly somethin’ dumb like, “Mmm, wolves…” Ugh, that man! Anyway, this one escort chick, she told me—get this—she once got paid in *bitcoin*! I’m like, “What’s that, Monopoly money?” She laughed so hard she tipped me extra. Made my night, swear!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kawai Street. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grabbed my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of onigiri? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man. Not the same.

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