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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

Tourism reliance

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see the iconic Mt. Fuji peeking through the clouds. It’s like, “Hey, look at me, I’m majestic!” I’m just trying to get to my job at the factory, but Fuji’s out here flexing. I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right?

Central Japan city to launch automatic translation screens in 134 languages