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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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I’m hustlin’ to the Gosen City Hall for a meeting. The streets are packed. I mean, Gosen ain’t Tokyo, but it’s got its own vibe. The mix of old-school buildings and modern stuff is kinda dope. I pass by the Gosen River, and it’s so pretty. Like, I could just sit there all day. But no time for that!

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