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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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First off, I’m a violin maker, right? I’ve been crafting these beauties for years. But today, I had a customer—let’s call him Mr. Picky. He strolls in, all high and mighty, and starts inspecting my violins like he’s some kinda expert. Dude, I’ve spent hours on these! He picks up one, and I swear, he looks at it like it’s a piece of trash. I’m fuming inside. Like, bro, you have no idea how much love went into that wood from the mountains of Funaishikawa!