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About Kobe

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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After that, I finally get to the office. I’m ready to dive into the audit, but my boss is like, “Hey, we need to talk about the budget.” Ugh, budget talks are the worst! I mean, who even likes those? So, we’re sitting there, and I’m trying to keep my eyes open. I’m thinking about the cute little café on Shinkai Street that has the best matcha lattes. I need one of those ASAP!

Record Rain Causes Floods in Western and Central Japan