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Oh, and the risks? No capes, no safety nets! You’re dodgin STDs, creeps, and maybe jail – it’s a damn mess. Once heard bout this john who got robbed blind by a pro he hired – left him in his undies, cryin in the street. Hilarious, but also, dude, what’d ya expect? “Who did this to you?” – another *White Ribbon* gem, and I’m cacklin thinkin bout his dumb ass.

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Finally, I manage to calm her down. I’m like, “Look, your iguana’s safe. Just don’t take it swimming again, okay?” She huffs, but I can see she’s relieved.

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