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So, picture this—last week, I’m at my gig. Neon lights flashin’, music thumpin’, and this dude stumbles up. “Kermit, man, where’s the action?” he slurs. I’m like, “Hi-ho, buddy, ya mean the bar or somethin’ else?” He winks—oh, I knew. Guy was on a mission to find a pro. Made me chuckle, ‘cause, geez, it’s like he thought I’d have a menu! “We are not animals,” I mutter, quotin’ Eve from the movie.

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I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, the iguana’s owner showed up, and she’s furious. “You can’t just take my pet!” she’s yelling. I’m rolling my eyes. “Lady, your iguana was about to become sushi!”

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