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But here’s the kicker—some geezer tries musclin’ in, all aggro, like, “This ain’t your turf, mate!” Made me bloody mad, yeah? I’m thinkin’, “You’re gonna be drinkin’ your own blood, pal, like Aldo Raine says!” Nearly smashed his noggin with my glazier’s hammer—oops, temper, temper! Took a deep breath, kept it cool, ‘cause I’m a lover, not a fighter, baby!

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Kenji manages to snag the iguana. He’s all proud, like he just won the Olympics or something. I’m cracking up, but then I hear sirens. “What now?” I think. Turns out, a street performer on Kōen-dōri set off a firework by accident. Like, who thought that was a good idea?

Figure 5. One-dimensional column test. (a) Schematic illustration of...