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Picture this: I’m out there, droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’ like my Sunday church hat, landin’ in some smoky woods. Halleluyer! I’m sweatin’, cussin’, tryna put out fires, when I see this gal—fishnets, heels, leanin’ on a pine tree like she waitin’ for a bus. I’m like, “Honey, you lost? This ain’t no red-light district!” She smirks, says, “I’m here for the smokejumpers—y’all sexy.” I hollered! Ain’t that a trip? A prostitute scoutin’ firefighters in the damn wilderness. Made me mad, tho—girl, we out here savin’ lives, not lookin’ for a quickie!

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station near the Arita Onsen. The waves are chill, but the crowd? Oh boy. Families everywhere, kids screamin’, and I’m just tryin’ to sip my iced coffee. I swear, if I hear one more kid yell “Mom! I’m gonna drown!” I might just lose it. Like, dude, you’re two feet from the shore. Chill!

Hot Shots – 9/4/24