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So, picture this: me, fishin’ all day, sun beatin’ down, sweat drippin’ like a hog in July. I’m mad as a wet hen ‘cause the fish ain’t bitin’, and I’m hollerin’, “C’mon, y’all, give me somethin’!” Then—bam!—this gal sashays by, skirt shorter than a minnow’s tail. I’m like, “Well, slap my britches, is she one o’ them workin’ girls?” Ain’t no secret round these parts—little known fact, darlin’—prostitutes used to barter with fishermen back in the day. Fish for a quick fling! Ain’t that a hoot? History’s wilder than my hair on a humid day!

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After that, I get a call from a guy who’s mad about the new road construction on Route 280. He’s ranting about traffic and how it’s ruining his life. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a detour!” But he’s not havin’ it. “I can’t get to my favorite sushi spot!” I mean, priorities, right?

Statue unveiled commemorating popular "ugly-yet-cute" Akita dog Wasao