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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”
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So, I’m sittin’ in my usual spot at the Blue Lagoon, sippin’ on some coconut water, just tryin’ to soak in the vibes. The sun was shinin’, the water was lookin’ all turquoise and inviting. I was feelin’ good, like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes.
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