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Yo, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild. Like, you got hands rubbin’ you down, oil everywhere, and I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Someone’s watching us, right?” Straight outta *Caché*, that creepy Haneke vibe. “I saw you in the street,” but nah, it’s just me, half-naked, tryna not slip off the table. Deadass, it’s science—friction, pressure, all that jazz. Relaxes you, but also, like, why’s this dude’s elbow in my spine? I’m happy, tho—stress gone, poof, like magic. But then, bam, anger hits. $80 for 30 minutes? Robbery, fam!

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After that, I head to my office on the corner of Constant Spring and Red Hills. I’m trying to focus on my work, but my mind keeps drifting. I’m thinking about that goat, and I can’t stop chuckling. My coworkers are looking at me like I’m losing it. But hey, it’s been a long week, and I need a laugh.

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