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We head to this dingy flat—smells like fags and regret. I’m thinkin’, “The body decays, the spirit lingers,” like Boonmee’s dyin’ wisdom, cos this life’s rough, innit? She’s crackin’ jokes, though—says I look like a toff who’s lost his castle. Cheeky mare! I’m lovin’ it, cos she’s got banter, and I’m a sucker for that. “You’re a rare one,” I tell her, and she winks—pure class.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks over a whole table of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the reports. The clients are crackin’ up too. It’s like a scene from a movie.

Yallahs High principal Mark Malabver to be declared JTA president-elect