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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this guy on the corner of the street, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some handmade bracelets. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 8 AM. Who’s buying jewelry this early?” But then he starts talkin’ about how each bracelet has a story. I’m intrigued, but also like, “Bro, I just want my coffee.”

Workers at Jewel Paradise Cove protest over wage concerns and other issues