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About May Pen

Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

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Then, I head over to River Road. Beautiful view, right? But guess what? Some kids are throwing rocks into the river. I’m thinking, “What are you doing? That’s not cool!” I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but come on!

Television: My body language changed with ‘Porus’ role: Rati Pandey