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About Myself
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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.
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Then, outta nowhere, it started rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m talkin’ about the kind that soaks you in seconds. I sprinted to the nearest shop on High Street. I ducked in, soaked but laughin’. The shopkeeper just shook his head, like, “You really thought you could escape it?” I was like, “Yeah, I’m a warrior, not a fish!”
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