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Humor’s my jam, so lemme say—sex-dating’s like tryna score in overtime. You’re sweaty, desperate, prayin’ for a win. Sometimes ya flop, sometimes ya champ. Sarcasm alert: “Oh, sure, he’s TOTALLY a model.” Lmao. Personal quirk? I overthink every “hey sexy” text. Brain’s yellin’, “Danger, Will Robinson!” but I’m still replyin’, “sup babe.”

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I bump into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he got chased by a goat. A GOAT! In the middle of Constant Spring! I’m dying laughing. Like, how does that even happen? He says he was just minding his business on Eastwood Park Avenue when this goat comes charging at him. I can’t even.

Goshen's A Constant Spring evolves with upscale bar food under new ownership