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Lemme tell ya somethin’ — little known fact, right? Back in the ‘80s, Miami hookers had this code, man. They’d twirl their hair twice if they was clean, no diseases or whatever. Ain’t that wild? I’m out here, squintin’ like a dumbass, tryna see if this chick’s twirlin’ right. Say hello to my little friend! He’s ready, but I ain’t catchin’ no bugs, comprende?

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So, I’m sprinting down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their dogs. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I almost tripped over a poodle. Like, chill, dude! Anyway, I finally get to the piazza, and my client is there, looking all stressed. She’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Traffic, ya know?” But really, it was just me being a hot mess.

Padua’s fourteenth-century fresco cycles