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Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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So, I walk in, and the smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I order a brioche, and the lady behind the counter gives me this huge smile. I’m thinking, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, she drops my brioche! Like, seriously? I just wanted a sweet start to my day! I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-fuming. I mean, come on!

Those medical supplies hospitals need? They’re overseas.