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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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Then, I bump into my old pal, Lucia. We start chatting, and she’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” Turns out, she just got a new job at the local museum. I’m stoked for her! But then she tells me about this weird exhibit they’re doin’—like, a whole section on the history of pasta. I’m like, “Pasta? Really? That’s what we’re doin’ now?” But hey, it’s Vernio, right?

Haiti - Port-de-Paix : Death of Tony Vernio, communal mourning and funeral