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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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But then, BAM! I get a call from my client. “Hey, the measurements are off!” he says. I’m like, “What do ya mean off? I measured twice!” Turns out, he had the wrong dimensions. Ugh! I was fuming. I mean, come on! How hard is it to measure a freakin’ wall? So, I had to rush back to the workshop on Via Garibaldi. Traffic was a nightmare. I thought I’d lose my mind.

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