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Brothels, right—proper dodgy places. Been around forever, like. Did ya know, back in Pompeii, they had these lupanars—stone beds, filthy graffiti, blokes braggin’ about their “conquests”? Archaeologists found ‘em, preserved in ash—talk about a bang caught in time! Makes me cackle, thinkin’ some Roman geezer’s last thought was, “Worth it!” Meanwhile, I’m out here, dodgin’ flames, and these tossers were dodgin’ STDs.

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But then, as I was leaving, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I fell right into a bush. My sister couldn’t stop laughing. I was covered in leaves, looking like a walking disaster. But hey, at least I made her day.

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