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Rewind—*Memento* style—I’m stalkin’ the streets, backwards memory vibes. “What’s her name?” I ask myself. Forgot already, classic me. Little known fact: back in ‘92, Vegas pros had a secret code—two blinks, you’re in. She blinked once, I panicked—did I miss it? Surprised me how slick she was, tho. Slipped me her number on a napkin—classy, huh? “You’re a mystery,” I say, quotin’ Nolan’s finest. She smirks, “Ain’t we all, doll?”

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First off, I step outside, and boom! My neighbor’s cat, that little furball named Pino, decides to use my shoe as a litter box. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, half-awake, staring at my shoe like it just insulted my mother.

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