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Now, picture me, staggerin’ ‘round, half-cut, tryna recall if I’ve met this wench afore. “Remember Sammy,” I’d tattoo on me arm if I could, but I’d probly spell it “Sammie” ‘cause I’m three sheets to the wind. Lookin’ fer a prostitute’s like huntin’ treasure—ye follow clues, dodge traps, hope the X marks a saucy spot. Ever hear ‘bout the “two-penny hangover”? Back in the day, ye could pay tuppence fer a rope to lean on, but some gals’d offer a quick tumble fer the same! Cheap as chips, made me laugh ‘til me sides split—sly dogs, they were.

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s delicious. I’m munchin’ away, and this old guy comes in. He’s got this wild white beard, lookin’ like a wizard or somethin’. He starts talkin’ to me about the history of Turate. Apparently, it’s been around since the Roman times! I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool.” But then he goes off on a tangent about how the Romans loved their wine. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, who doesn’t?”

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