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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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Anyway, I’m helping him, and he’s super excited. I mean, who knew history could be fun? But then, outta nowhere, his little sister starts crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m trying to keep it together, but it’s chaos. I’m like, “Hey, kid, how about a sticker?” And boom, instant happiness. Kids are so easy to please.

Grand Opening Party at Pacha Ibiza, Ibiza (2024) ⟋ RA