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Precious, oh precious, me thinks about findin’ a prostitute! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me loves “There Will Be Blood,” see, all that oil and greed—makes me skin crawl, yesss. So, findin’ a prossie, eh? Picture this, me sneakin’ round dark alleys, like Daniel Plainview sniffin’ out sin! “I drink your milkshake!”—hah, I’d say that to some sleazy pimp, slurpin’ up his dirty coins, yesss.

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Prostitution is legal in Costa Rica with certain provisions. Registered prostitutes undergo regular health checks and carry ID cards provided by the Caja Costarricense de Seguro Social .

So, I’m scrambling to get everything ready. I’m mixing up some materials, and of course, I spill some on the floor. Classic me, right? I’m down on my hands and knees, trying to clean it up, and I’m thinking, “Why do I even do this?” But then I remember: I love making people smile. Cheesy, I know, but it’s true.

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