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I spot this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig. I roll up, all chill, but inside I’m like – “Is this it?” She’s givin me that look, y’know, sizin me up. “What’s your party trick?” I mutter, half-jokin, straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. She laughs, raspy, says, “Honey, I’m the whole damn circus.” I’m fuckin sold, man – happy as hell, she’s got sass!

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Then, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Piazza Italia. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking tomatoes so red they look like they’re blushing. I grab some, but then I see this old dude arguing with a vendor. Like, c’mon, it’s just a tomato! But nah, he’s all like, “I want my money back!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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