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About Milan

But real talk, it’d be sketchy—makes me nervous, heart racin’. I’d be all, “I’m not cut out for this!” Like Sam says, “I’m not a strong swimmer!”—I’d drown in the awkwardness, man. Still, I’d try to charm her, all cringey, “Wanna split a moonpie?” That’s what she said! Oh, God, I’m dyin’ here.

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Adda River. Man, it’s beautiful there. The water’s glistening, and I see some kids playing soccer. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a soccer ball comes flying at me! I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady’s shopping bag. She’s like, “Hey! Watch it!” I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! I’m not a goalie!”

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