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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Quarrata, right? You know, that chill little town in Tuscany. I’m a dental tech, so my life revolves around teeth. Yeah, I know, super exciting, right? But today? Today was a whole different ball game.

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