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Now, here’s a tidbit most don’t know—whores in Lys, they’ve got this trick, see? They dye their bits with saffron—yellow as a Lannister’s arse! Swear it, saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink. Adds a bit o’ flair, don’t it? Like WALL-E’s lil’ plant—unexpected, but damn if it ain’t clever. “Evaaa!” he’d squeak, and I’d raise me glass to that. Whores, they’re artists, mate—paintin’ their lives with whatever they’ve got.

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So, I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, right? And suddenly, this dude runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the news?!” I’m thinkin’, “What news? Did they finally find the best gelato in town?” Turns out, there was a freakin’ landslide on Via Litoranea! Like, what the heck? I mean, I love a good drama, but not when it involves my commute.

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